Unpopular Opinion: I’m a Size 0, I HATE IT, and This is Why!

Happy Saturday guys! The weekend creeps upon us once again! As I’ve been so busy and thinking of a different sort of post to write, I’ve decided to take a step back and take the filter off, so to speak. Maybe the winter is just getting to me, maybe I just want to start off 2018 being a bit more “real,” but I figured it was time to give the pretty glittery stuff a little rest for a moment and talk about something hard for a change!

Not a single one of us is without body issues. Some of us may hide it better than others, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t hidden underneath the surface. That’s totally okay, because it’s part of the human experience. We all have them. That being said, I wanted to bring a different perspective to the table…one that isn’t usually talked about and often swept under the rug.

I am a tiny size 0 (in US sizes, at least). I know there’s many people out there who see that as ideal and beautiful, but I want to make it clear that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and that if I had a choice, I would’ve never wanted this. If there was anything I could do to change this, I would do it without a second thought. My genes happened to mix up a certain way and come out in the combination they did, and I’m stuck with the results whether I like it or not!

You’d be shocked how many people I encounter IRL who don’t seem to understand this, and I wanted to put some facts out there to clear things up.

First and foremost, I LOVE food! You’ve probably guessed that if you’ve been reading the recipes I’ve posted. I spend A LOT of time thinking about what I want on the menu in our house for the coming week, what new things I want to try next time I go shopping, and so on. I would say I have a very healthy relationship with food. It’s not weird, hostile or an otherwise messy issue in any way. Therefore it’s hard not to get offended when someone accuses me of having an eating disorder, which SO MANY A**HOLES DO!! And I wonder, just…WHY? Is there that many people that have just never seen a thin person before? Or never seen anyone who doesn’t look just like them? That doesn’t fit their definition of “normal?” The world is a tough place for some of us who forget that not everyone is as open minded and as tolerant as we are. We often think everyone is as nice and kind as we are, but the sad reality is that it isn’t the case. There’s all kinds, good and bad. All we can do is teach others to be tolerant in the best way we know how. Chances are that if you read here regularly then you already do this, but I hope this prompts you to encourage even one person to be a bit more open minded.

“OMG…do you ever eat?!”

That’s a stupid question.

I know, I wish I could say there are no such things as stupid questions but unfortunately sometimes, there can be. This is one of them, and it’s one I get asked more often than I ever thought possible!

Doesn’t every living thing HAVE TO eat to LIVE? Us, animals, plants, everything?? Even little amoebas need to get energy in some form. Asking someone if they eat is like asking if they breathe oxygen! So yes, I am a living being that eats and breathes oxygen just like everyone else!

“You need to EAT MORE!!!!”

Uhh…No.

I do not.

That’s another one I get pretty often, and one can’t truly know how frustrating it is unless it happens to you. I eat until I am full, just like any other person who has a healthy relationship with food. Sometimes it’s a little, sometimes it’s a lot. I’ll eat as much as I can handle without over-stuffing myself. “Eating more” won’t do anything besides make me sluggish, so why should I do that and waste food that I could be saving for later? Again, very few people understand when I explain this. They insist I could just “eat more” and *POOF!* As if they know anything about MY body. *facepalm x10000* Trust me, if “eating more” was an option, don’t you think I would have done that a lonnnnggggg time ago?!

My only “restriction” (if you can call it that) is that I do my best to avoid GMOs and weird ingredients I can’t pronounce. I encourage others to do the same and to look for the shortest list of ingredients on their food labels when grocery shopping. If there’s a whole effing long ass paragraph on the contents label, I think it would be in everybody’s best interest to pass it up for something with less mystery ingredients if possible.

People these days are usually pretty understanding when I explain this, but once in a while I’ll get that person who says “You don’t NEED to eat healthy stuff!” As if losing weight is the only reason to eat healthy? *sighs.* Then I have to explain that everyone should eat foods that make them feel good, whether they’re “dieting” or not!

“Oh you like healthy food, THAT’s why you’re so skinny!”

No, it is not. My desire to eat good food has nothing to do with being skinny!

By the way, I want you to try something. Go on Instagram and search the hashtags #skinny #thin and #thighgap. A WARNING pops up! GRAPHIC CONTENT you guys!! Because thin women are just OH SO OFFENSIVE they will make your eyeballs bleed!!!! Ugh. The #fat hashtag however, is totally okay you guys!!! #bodypositive

Yes, I get that there’s a lot of girls who do starve themselves and go on social media looking for further starvation inspiration and documenting their progress. Yes, those girls need help. But should they be lumped in with ALL skinny people whether they can help how they look or not? I say HELL NO!

Which brings me to my next point. I have a “thigh gap.” I do not want nor did I ever ask for a “thigh gap.” I did not roll out of bed one day and decide that obtaining a thigh gap would be one of my goals. But I have one whether I want one or not. But wait! Thigh gaps AREN’T REAL! REAL women don’t have those silly stupid fake thigh gaps you guyssss!!! Only fake photoshopped women have thoseeee!!!!

Oh, and my favorite…

“OMG Guys ONLY like big girls!!!!! Guys don’t like skinny girlsss!!!!”

Oh, do kindly f*** off! Guys like whatever the hell they decide they like. Some like black hair, some like blond. Some like green eyes, some like blue or brown. Some guys like girls and some guys like guys. Different guys prefer girls of all different skin colors. Some even like imperfections, like moles or messed up teeth. But NOT ALL guys have to only like “big girls.” They do not all have to prefer big girls over any other body type, and to go around telling women that only big girls are desirable is damaging.

Aside from being asked questions so frustrating that you don’t know how to manage an answer anymore or being told you don’t need to eat healthy, imagine growing up as a skinny kid and being told by people (including your family who should know better) that you should gain weight because you would be more attractive, more desirable, and just overall better because you clearly aren’t good enough the way you are. Imagine seeing ads showing “real women” (Dove, for example, which I will bitch about in a separate post) and none of them look like you. But OMG those women are REAL U GUYZ!! That’s what REAL WOMEN LOOK LIKE!! Not those fake skinny bitches that don’t even exist in real life…these are REAL WOMEN!! *bangs head on wall*

See that adorable outfit on that mannequin you just have to have? Tough s**t, the smallest size is a medium. You can try it on just to see, but as badly as you want to make it work, it doesn’t look hopeful. But do not bother complaining about your clothes shopping issues around other women, OH NO, you don’t get to do that. Your problems are not real. Only “big girls” get to vent about their problems, and if you try to, you will get called “anorexic” and told to just shut up. Because, ya know, you must not have any legitimate problems like other “real” women have. You aren’t real and neither are your problems. Woohooo!

You could also be strolling down the street minding your own business when a random stranger who happens to have an empty soul full of evil and contempt decides to tell you to “eat a cheeseburger.” Yes, this has happened MORE THAN ONCE. What is going through these awful people’s minds, I have no clue. I will never begin to understand what makes them think that is acceptable behavior. I mean, shouting insults at random people?! Come on! But unfortunately, if your a thin woman people think this is okay to do to you. We all know they wouldn’t dare go up to a heavy person and tell them to stop eating or “cut out the cheeseburgers” because that would be OH SO MEANNNNN!!! You can’t say thatttttt!!!You’ll hurt their feeeeelllinngssss!!!! But skinny girls have no feelings and no real problems so it’s totally okay to say whatever horrible things you want to them, right guysss??!

Another one is, “Have you been to the doctor?”

Or “Are you healthy?”

Yes and yes. No other explanation should be needed here.

Also, your friends are posting their ski trips on Instagram but alas, you have to pass on the winter sports because the cold is literally unbearable for you. I myself don’t mind this one too much since I’m a summer person anyway. I’ll take the warm sandy beach!

It’s also somehow acceptable for weirdos to grab your wrist with their thumb and forefinger in a circle, and look at it as if you are some kind of alien. But prepare for war if you retaliate by poking their stomach or something, which is just as bad, but you would totally never do that because that’s OMG SO MEANNN!

Go somewhere with only hard chairs? WOOT! Your ass is about to hurt and I hope you brought a pillow, because they will not make accommodations for your tiny butt.

And let’s not forget the whole “body positive” movement! You get to be “body positive” ONLY if you aren’t skinny. Because thin women don’t deserve to be “body positive” guys! *barf*

You may not complain of any ailments either, because there will always be THAT person who attributes your problems to being “too thin” or having “no meat on your bones.” I’m a very sweet, kind, patient and tolerant person 99.9% of the time. I do my best to ignore things that rub me the wrong way and focus on the positive. But the next person that says anything to me about “meat” and “bones” is going to be dragged by their hair into a world of pain! Because of this, I have to keep quiet most of the time when something is bothering me. Cold? It’s because there’s no meat on your bones! Got a headache? It’s because your skinny! Got a bruise on you leg from bumping into a table? It’s because your so skinny! Hungry? Tired? Stressed? Need a joint, a beer and a nice long nap? It’s because you’re so thin and must never eat! I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea. It’s tough feeling like you can’t speak up when something is wrong, for fear of being judged. God forbid you ever end up with a serious health issue, or it will be ignored and attributed to being “too skinny.” I am so so thankful for the few girlfriends in my life that I can say these things to without judgement. They are what keep me sane.

The only real possible solution to any of this is to lift weights and do squats every single day (which I would LOVE to be able to do) but don’t we all get busy? Keeping up with a regimen is hard for anybody, even with all the time in the world and a personal trainer to light the fire under your butt. Even after a pretty long successful streak, the second I skip a few days I shrink back to tiny size! But then again, would it make me go up a clothing size? Would it make the cold more bearable? Who really knows, only time will tell. Maybe the mean comments would stop, maybe not. But as tempting as it is, we must make improvements to please ourselves and better our own lives, not to appease others who don’t truly matter. Oh well, gotta pick yourself back up. That is, after some much needed winter hibernation, of course! *huddles up under covers*

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Biting Into Some Yummy Tide Pods!

Well, 2018 has brought the Internet from drinking bleach to eating those tasty-looking Tide Pods. I know, I know! Shortly after scrolling through Instagram and seeing the memes, I had an idea pop into my head! Sorry guys, I just could NOT resist!! Here’s how I whipped up some quick (but tasty) Tide Pod candies! And I’m sure you all know this but…don’t eat the real ones!!!!!

1. White chocolate

If you aren’t familiar with melting chocolate chips, here’s a little tip. If you are familiar, feel free to skip my rambling!

Boil some water in a relatively large pot. Place the chocolate in something that sits ON TOP of the boiling water, such as a bowl you can heat up or another pot. I happened to have a perfect metal bowl!

2. Forming the chocolates

White chocolate is a bit more difficult to melt than regular chocolate as it doesn’t get as smooth. Therefore it’s harder to shape. I did what I could with it as far as shaping it on the tray. Chocolate molds will also work! At this point, you can pop it in the freezer!

3. Mix some icing!

I couldn’t find gel icing in the right colors (I know, I was being lazy) but I decided to use this kind anyway because it tastes better. You need some blue coloring for a blue batch, and red-orange for the rest. I divided a can of vanilla icing in half for this.

4. Icing bags! YAY!

A bag of red and a bag of blue! I used plastic wrap and my smallest nozzle.

5. Decorate!

This is where you’ll make the swirl pattern before popping them back into the freezer! Leave them in until the icing gets hard.

6. Plastic wrap

Wrap each one with small cling wrap pieces until you get that plastic shiny look. This will also keep the icing from smudging until you are ready to serve them.

7. Party!

Serve them to friends for some LOLs! Enjoy!!

Stuffing-Style Turkey Meatloaf

I hope everyone had an awesome holiday and got all the goodies you wished for!! Now is that weird time between Christmas and New Years when I’m in limbo and feeling like a total blob, yet wanna get motivated for all the fab things we have planned in 2018! As I write this, I’ve got my ass parked on the couch in my fluffy robe looking at some leftover holiday mess that seems to creep back no matter how many times I attempt to clean it. The good news is, I’m bringing you my meatloaf recipe I made on Christmas Eve as promised on my Instagram post!

Let me begin my telling you I am SO NOT a meatloaf person normally, nor was I ever until I discovered THIS! I can’t take credit for the bread idea myself, but this is my version! It’s turkey meat, so much better for you than beef, and unlike other meatloaf I’ve tried before it is so so smooth!! So here it is…

  • 2 packages of ground turkey (antibiotic and hormone-free!)
  • 4-5 slices of bread (I use wheat bread)
  • 1 Large egg
  • 3 tbsp of olive oil
  • A dash of hot sauce
  • A dash of liquid smoke
  • A pinch of Himalayan pink salt
  • A pinch of cumin
  • 1/4 onion, finely chopped
  1. Preheat your oven to 350
  2. Throw the ground turkey in a large mixing bowl
  3. Tear the bread up into small pieces and add it to the turkey mixture
  4. Add the egg, olive oil, cumin, salt, hot sauce and liquid smoke
  5. Chop the onion and add it to the mix
  6. Using your hands, mix all the ingredients together until you have a smooth mixture (I prefer gloves when I don’t want to get my fingers sticky).
  7. Coat a baking pan with butter or coconut oil spray
  8. Form the mixture into a “loaf” on the pan
  9. Cover it with foil or a lid and pop it in the oven for 1 hour or until it’s cooked through the center
  10. Remove the foil toward the end to allow your loaf to “brown” a bit on top if you prefer
  11. Slice and serve!!

Show me your healthy turkey loaf with your fav side dishes on IG @stephaniepiix #urbanmermaid💕😋

Smokey 3 Cheese Eggplant Casserole 

Hello everyone! I hope you’ve all had a lovely 4th (for my US readers at least). I myself am just trying to take advantage of every summer day while having my ass thoroughly kicked by allergies. Fun! I want to share this awesome recipe with you all. It’s my own version of the classic Eggplant Parmesan!

Eggplant is amazing as a meat replacement because it has that meaty-like texture. You can also add mushrooms to this dish for an even more filling meal!

Ingredients:

• 1 large or 2 small eggplants

• a pinch of salt

• 3 eggs (it doesn’t hurt to have more on hand just in case)

• 1 can of breadcrumbs

• liquid smoke

• 1 tomato

• 1 cup of kale leaves

• minced or fresh garlic

• white wine

• 3 cheeses (preferably Parmesan, Gouda and Swiss…but for this one I used Swiss and double sharp cheddar for the hubby).

• 1 package of mushrooms

• 1/2 a small onion

• olive or vegetable oil

• hemp seeds (optional but highly recommended). Where on earth do you get those?! Why, right here of course!

Preheat your oven to about 350 and start by slicing your eggplant about a quarter inch thick. Place the slices in a colander to “dry out” a bit. Add a pinch of salt to them to speed up this process. Let sit about 20-30 minutes. You can use this time to rinse off your kale and mushrooms and set them aside.Once you feel they’ve sat long enough, heat your oil up in a large pan. Beat the eggs in a bowl and dump some breadcrumbs on a plate. You’ll be dipping each piece in the eggs first, then the breadcrumbs (they should stick) then throw them into the pan to fry until they are a nice golden brown on both sides. Once you do this, set them aside on a separate plate. Repeat until all the pieces are fried. Keep in mind: you’ll be adding more oil during the cooking process because these bitches suck up oil like crazy!!Now here’s the fun part: making the sauce! I love making my own sauces! Feel free to get creative with this part.My inspiration for this recipe to begin with was that I wanted to make an Eggplant Parmesan, but I’m not a red sauce person and wanted to tone it down a bit by making a “pink sauce.”

For the sauce I used the cheese grater on one tomato to make it into a “paste,” chopped 1/2 an onion, and 1 clove of garlic. Add about a tablespoon of white wine (feel free to drink the rest) and a small dash of my new-found favorite…Liquid smoke!!! This stuff is AMAZEBALLS!! I’m totally serious!! Even your hands will smell heavenly when working with this stuff (don’t eat those, though!) Please be aware, a little bit goes a long way with this, so your best bet is to pour a few drops into the cap and add it to your sauce that way. I find it really is quite potent! Mix the sauce well and set it aside.

Going back to the eggplant slices, coat a large baking pan with the oil you used to fry the eggplant pieces and start putting the pieces down in the pan. You will be layering all the ingredients together. Add the cheese and pour some of the sauce over the slices evenly, and start laying the kale and mushroom slices in as well.You’ll see it start coming together! Keep adding the cheese and sauce between layers until all the sauce is used up.Once all of the ingredients are in the pan, make the top part the cheesiest layer. Then sprinkle your hemp seeds on top for an extra protein boost! Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes or until you see the top layer of cheese start to get brown. Let it cool and share the smokey happiness!

Try it and tell me what you think in the comments or on my Instagram @stephaniepicss 🥂💜

My Favorite Apps That Keep You Fit

You probably already know that your smartphone and tablet can be a great tool to help you stay fit and healthy (that is, if you aren’t spending too much time on your butt watching movies or tweeting) but you may or may not have already decided to take advantage of the many health apps out there. Here, I’ve made a short list of a few apps for Apple and Android that I use myself and love!
Daily Yoga


Daily Yoga gives you yoga lessons and meditation sessions right on your phone! It also keeps track of what sessions you’ve completed and how many calories you’ve burned. You get plenty of sessions for free, but you have the option to upgrade to pro if you want more.

 

Kindara

 

This one is just for girls! It helps you keep track of your monthly cycle. You enter your data and it keeps a chart for you! It has a lot of features, so don’t get overwhelmed when using it at first! It comes with plenty of instructions! Kindara gives you tons of information about your reproductive health, and you can even share your charts with a community of other women and ask questions (but that part is totally optional!) It’s useful for all purposes, weather you are trying to get pregnant, trying to avoid pregnancy naturally (yes, you can do that) or just making sure all your plumbing is in working order!

 

Fooducate


The Fooducate app is a handy little app that scans barcodes on food for you, and gives it a grade depending on how healthy or unhealthy it is. It’s quite useful for avoiding processed junk! If in doubt, scan the barcode and see the rating! Fooducate tells you why a product is good or bad for you, and offers a list of better alternatives to the not-so-healthy stuff.

 

Ipiit

 

Ipiit is similar to Fooducate, but what makes it different is that you can set your own criteria for what you want in your food. For example: non-gmo, gluten free, all natural coloring and flavoring, etc. Once you scan a barcode, Ipiit will tell you weather or not the product is for you based on your chosen criteria.

 

I hope you give some of these a try, and let me know in the comments if you know of any more healthy apps that have worked for you!

Don’t Be Afraid of Tofu: Part 2

In one of my recent posts titled “Don’t be Afraid of Tofu,” I talked about how to cook tofu so that it tastes good and makes a nice addition to sandwiches, salads or appetizer platters. In this post, I will be sharing another method used today, and it turned out AHH-MAZINGGG! 

Here, you can see it is cut the same way, in thin squares. The difference this time is that I placed the pieces on a grill rack. 


I prepared a mixture of barbecue sauce, seasoned salt and rosemary.  Barbecue is one of my favorite flavores for tofu because it makes it into a tasty meat replacement!

Using a barbecue brush, I spread the mixture evenly onto each piece and popped them in the oven at 375 for about 25 minutes. Keep checking on them periodically to see how “crispy” they are getting, and take them out one they have cooked enough. Once they cool (which they will pretty quickly), remove them with a spatula and have them with any dish you’d like or eat them alone as tofu bacon! 

Don’t forget to share your recipes on Instagram with the hashtag #urbanmermaid

💙Happy baking!💙

What’s on my Grocery List? 

I’ve mentioned before that I LOVE Asian food, not only because it’s tasty and it’s good for you, but because it’s versatile and so much fun to cook! I’ve decided to save a bunch of money on takeout by taking a trip to the Asian grocery store, and sharing some tasty items with you so you can do the same! 

1. Peanut Sauce


This is the PERFECT sauce for sautéed shrimp, chicken, beef, veggies, etc. It works amazingly in stir fry dishes and is non-GMO! It can also be used as a dipping sauce or marinade. 

2. Soybean Sprouts 


These little sprouts add a perfect “crunch” to your meal. I prefer to use them in noodle dishes. Simply add them later in the cooking process so they can absorb some flavor but still maintain their crunchiness.

3. Quail Eggs 


Isn’t this the most adorable little package?! This is actually my first time buying these. I grabbed a box out of curiosity so I will be looking for Quail Egg recipes in the near future! 

4. Mini Eggplant 


Another cute mini version of an already beloved favorite, I got a bag of these as well. You could even make tiny eggplant parmesan!

5. Thai Eggplant 


It was my first time purchasing these as well. I’m curious to see how they turn out in some noodle or rice dishes!

6. Tofu


Tofu has become one of my favorite things to make because it works as an excellent healthy meat replacement! I know many people who still find tofu weird and tend to shy away from it, but if you’re reading this article I assume you are open to it or have had it before. If not, no worries! I’ve written a tofu tutorial here.

7. Rolled Squid


Yum! I understand it’s not for everyone, but I’m a big seafood fan myself so I grabbed a package of this. It doesn’t need to be refrigerated but I would after opening the package just in case!

8.Noodles


These kind in particular cook very fast and are delicious! They seem to make their own broth which is great if you want to use them in soup. 

9. BBQ Seasoning Mix 


I got this to use as tofu flavoring. You can use any flavor you wish, but I grabbed the BBQ one to give it a meat-like flavoring. 

10. Chopsticks 


Sure, you could use a fork. But where’s the fun in that?! 

Feel free to leave some recipe ideas and discuss your favorite dishes in the comments! XO