Happy Saturday guys! The weekend creeps upon us once again! As I’ve been so busy and thinking of a different sort of post to write, I’ve decided to take a step back and take the filter off, so to speak. Maybe the winter is just getting to me, maybe I just want to start off 2018 being a bit more “real,” but I figured it was time to give the pretty glittery stuff a little rest for a moment and talk about something hard for a change!
Not a single one of us is without body issues. Some of us may hide it better than others, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t hidden underneath the surface. That’s totally okay, because it’s part of the human experience. We all have them. That being said, I wanted to bring a different perspective to the table…one that isn’t usually talked about and often swept under the rug.
I am a tiny size 0 (in US sizes, at least). I know there’s many people out there who see that as ideal and beautiful, but I want to make it clear that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and that if I had a choice, I would’ve never wanted this. If there was anything I could do to change this, I would do it without a second thought. My genes happened to mix up a certain way and come out in the combination they did, and I’m stuck with the results whether I like it or not!
You’d be shocked how many people I encounter IRL who don’t seem to understand this, and I wanted to put some facts out there to clear things up.
First and foremost, I LOVE food! You’ve probably guessed that if you’ve been reading the recipes I’ve posted. I spend A LOT of time thinking about what I want on the menu in our house for the coming week, what new things I want to try next time I go shopping, and so on. I would say I have a very healthy relationship with food. It’s not weird, hostile or an otherwise messy issue in any way. Therefore it’s hard not to get offended when someone accuses me of having an eating disorder, which SO MANY A**HOLES DO!! And I wonder, just…WHY? Is there that many people that have just never seen a thin person before? Or never seen anyone who doesn’t look just like them? That doesn’t fit their definition of “normal?” The world is a tough place for some of us who forget that not everyone is as open minded and as tolerant as we are. We often think everyone is as nice and kind as we are, but the sad reality is that it isn’t the case. There’s all kinds, good and bad. All we can do is teach others to be tolerant in the best way we know how. Chances are that if you read here regularly then you already do this, but I hope this prompts you to encourage even one person to be a bit more open minded.
“OMG…do you ever eat?!”
That’s a stupid question.
I know, I wish I could say there are no such things as stupid questions but unfortunately sometimes, there can be. This is one of them, and it’s one I get asked more often than I ever thought possible!
Doesn’t every living thing HAVE TO eat to LIVE? Us, animals, plants, everything?? Even little amoebas need to get energy in some form. Asking someone if they eat is like asking if they breathe oxygen! So yes, I am a living being that eats and breathes oxygen just like everyone else!
“You need to EAT MORE!!!!”
I do not.
That’s another one I get pretty often, and one can’t truly know how frustrating it is unless it happens to you. I eat until I am full, just like any other person who has a healthy relationship with food. Sometimes it’s a little, sometimes it’s a lot. I’ll eat as much as I can handle without over-stuffing myself. “Eating more” won’t do anything besides make me sluggish, so why should I do that and waste food that I could be saving for later? Again, very few people understand when I explain this. They insist I could just “eat more” and *POOF!* As if they know anything about MY body. *facepalm x10000* Trust me, if “eating more” was an option, don’t you think I would have done that a lonnnnggggg time ago?!
My only “restriction” (if you can call it that) is that I do my best to avoid GMOs and weird ingredients I can’t pronounce. I encourage others to do the same and to look for the shortest list of ingredients on their food labels when grocery shopping. If there’s a whole effing long ass paragraph on the contents label, I think it would be in everybody’s best interest to pass it up for something with less mystery ingredients if possible.
People these days are usually pretty understanding when I explain this, but once in a while I’ll get that person who says “You don’t NEED to eat healthy stuff!” As if losing weight is the only reason to eat healthy? *sighs.* Then I have to explain that everyone should eat foods that make them feel good, whether they’re “dieting” or not!
“Oh you like healthy food, THAT’s why you’re so skinny!”
No, it is not. My desire to eat good food has nothing to do with being skinny!
By the way, I want you to try something. Go on Instagram and search the hashtags #skinny #thin and #thighgap. A WARNING pops up! GRAPHIC CONTENT you guys!! Because thin women are just OH SO OFFENSIVE they will make your eyeballs bleed!!!! Ugh. The #fat hashtag however, is totally okay you guys!!! #bodypositive
Yes, I get that there’s a lot of girls who do starve themselves and go on social media looking for further starvation inspiration and documenting their progress. Yes, those girls need help. But should they be lumped in with ALL skinny people whether they can help how they look or not? I say HELL NO!
Which brings me to my next point. I have a “thigh gap.” I do not want nor did I ever ask for a “thigh gap.” I did not roll out of bed one day and decide that obtaining a thigh gap would be one of my goals. But I have one whether I want one or not. But wait! Thigh gaps AREN’T REAL! REAL women don’t have those silly stupid fake thigh gaps you guyssss!!! Only fake photoshopped women have thoseeee!!!!
Oh, and my favorite…
“OMG Guys ONLY like big girls!!!!! Guys don’t like skinny girlsss!!!!”
Oh, do kindly f*** off! Guys like whatever the hell they decide they like. Some like black hair, some like blond. Some like green eyes, some like blue or brown. Some guys like girls and some guys like guys. Different guys prefer girls of all different skin colors. Some even like imperfections, like moles or messed up teeth. But NOT ALL guys have to only like “big girls.” They do not all have to prefer big girls over any other body type, and to go around telling women that only big girls are desirable is damaging.
Aside from being asked questions so frustrating that you don’t know how to manage an answer anymore or being told you don’t need to eat healthy, imagine growing up as a skinny kid and being told by people (including your family who should know better) that you should gain weight because you would be more attractive, more desirable, and just overall better because you clearly aren’t good enough the way you are. Imagine seeing ads showing “real women” (Dove, for example, which I will bitch about in a separate post) and none of them look like you. But OMG those women are REAL U GUYZ!! That’s what REAL WOMEN LOOK LIKE!! Not those fake skinny bitches that don’t even exist in real life…these are REAL WOMEN!! *bangs head on wall*
See that adorable outfit on that mannequin you just have to have? Tough s**t, the smallest size is a medium. You can try it on just to see, but as badly as you want to make it work, it doesn’t look hopeful. But do not bother complaining about your clothes shopping issues around other women, OH NO, you don’t get to do that. Your problems are not real. Only “big girls” get to vent about their problems, and if you try to, you will get called “anorexic” and told to just shut up. Because, ya know, you must not have any legitimate problems like other “real” women have. You aren’t real and neither are your problems. Woohooo!
You could also be strolling down the street minding your own business when a random stranger who happens to have an empty soul full of evil and contempt decides to tell you to “eat a cheeseburger.” Yes, this has happened MORE THAN ONCE. What is going through these awful people’s minds, I have no clue. I will never begin to understand what makes them think that is acceptable behavior. I mean, shouting insults at random people?! Come on! But unfortunately, if your a thin woman people think this is okay to do to you. We all know they wouldn’t dare go up to a heavy person and tell them to stop eating or “cut out the cheeseburgers” because that would be OH SO MEANNNNN!!! You can’t say thatttttt!!!You’ll hurt their feeeeelllinngssss!!!! But skinny girls have no feelings and no real problems so it’s totally okay to say whatever horrible things you want to them, right guysss??!
Another one is, “Have you been to the doctor?”
Or “Are you healthy?”
Yes and yes. No other explanation should be needed here.
Also, your friends are posting their ski trips on Instagram but alas, you have to pass on the winter sports because the cold is literally unbearable for you. I myself don’t mind this one too much since I’m a summer person anyway. I’ll take the warm sandy beach!
It’s also somehow acceptable for weirdos to grab your wrist with their thumb and forefinger in a circle, and look at it as if you are some kind of alien. But prepare for war if you retaliate by poking their stomach or something, which is just as bad, but you would totally never do that because that’s OMG SO MEANNN!
Go somewhere with only hard chairs? WOOT! Your ass is about to hurt and I hope you brought a pillow, because they will not make accommodations for your tiny butt.
And let’s not forget the whole “body positive” movement! You get to be “body positive” ONLY if you aren’t skinny. Because thin women don’t deserve to be “body positive” guys! *barf*
You may not complain of any ailments either, because there will always be THAT person who attributes your problems to being “too thin” or having “no meat on your bones.” I’m a very sweet, kind, patient and tolerant person 99.9% of the time. I do my best to ignore things that rub me the wrong way and focus on the positive. But the next person that says anything to me about “meat” and “bones” is going to be dragged by their hair into a world of pain! Because of this, I have to keep quiet most of the time when something is bothering me. Cold? It’s because there’s no meat on your bones! Got a headache? It’s because your skinny! Got a bruise on you leg from bumping into a table? It’s because your so skinny! Hungry? Tired? Stressed? Need a joint, a beer and a nice long nap? It’s because you’re so thin and must never eat! I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea. It’s tough feeling like you can’t speak up when something is wrong, for fear of being judged. God forbid you ever end up with a serious health issue, or it will be ignored and attributed to being “too skinny.” I am so so thankful for the few girlfriends in my life that I can say these things to without judgement. They are what keep me sane.
The only real possible solution to any of this is to lift weights and do squats every single day (which I would LOVE to be able to do) but don’t we all get busy? Keeping up with a regimen is hard for anybody, even with all the time in the world and a personal trainer to light the fire under your butt. Even after a pretty long successful streak, the second I skip a few days I shrink back to tiny size! But then again, would it make me go up a clothing size? Would it make the cold more bearable? Who really knows, only time will tell. Maybe the mean comments would stop, maybe not. But as tempting as it is, we must make improvements to please ourselves and better our own lives, not to appease others who don’t truly matter. Oh well, gotta pick yourself back up. That is, after some much needed winter hibernation, of course! *huddles up under covers*